Why you should get rid of these 3 obsessions to be happier
Or
How systems make us obsessed with LOVE, MONEY, BEAUTY & HAPPINESS
Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess. After heroic transformations and adventurous quests, helped by magical creatures to defeat evil villains, she finds the prince of her life. The prince happens to be rich or acquires immeasurable wealth in the process.
And they live happily after…
Tails of love, beauty, wealth and happiness nurture us from the cradle. From Aladdin to Cinderella, and from the Puss in Boots to Ariel (Disney version), we learn to crave and desire these 4 attributes of life. Beauty, Love & Money have become a prerequisite for a Happy Life.
We have been thought to want them, possess them and even showcase them. They have become our obsession. But somehow, they are always out of reach like a mirage on the horizon. A moving target.
We are good looking, but not beautiful enough
We are content with life, but can be happier
We are rich, but the neighbour has more
We are loved, but need constant proof that this is the case
No one told us the secret. Not the fairy tale stories, nor our parents or the teachers at school. Let alone the boss.
Would you be shocked or surprised if I told you that each one of these obsessions has a price tag? Our love, beauty and happiness are for sale to the highest bidder. Even our obsession to accumulate money and wealth has a price tag attached to it. Economies, governments, media, health and belief systems are cashing in on them big time.
LOVE IS IN THE AIR
Our love is worth billions. Real estate, online dating, wedding and travel businesses, and many more, charge a premium and thrive on it. Let’s take the examples of weddings and on-line dating. Just to give you flavour of how high the stakes are. The wedding business is worth $50-60 billion and on-line dating is projected to grow to $10 billion. And this is only in the U.S.
But this is not all. Media moulds our emotions to make love a desirable attribute of a happy life. Belief systems make us belief that we need to find that special one person otherwise we are doomed to live in misery. And governments have institutionalised our love by creating rules and regulations on who, how and even why we should love, namely via a useful tooled called marriage.
Fascinated by the subject? Then you might want to read Why Are You Looking For Love Outside You?
BEAUTY & THE BEAST
External beauty is another desirable attribute of life and if we have it we will by happier. At least this is what systems make us believe. As I wrote in The Price Tag Is On You:
“Our obsession with our reflection in the mirror has nourished a massive cosmetics and beauty industry… An industry which is constantly playing with our minds to convince us that our bodies need continuous and relentless external shaping, moulding and perfecting. It capitalised on our insecurity and complexes. It nurtured our need for social acceptance. …The cosmetics industry churns out nearly $600 billion each year and is projected to grow by 40-50% in the next 5 years (34).”
“Our obsession with our reflection in the mirror has nourished a massive cosmetics and beauty industry… An industry which is constantly playing with our minds to convince us that our bodies need continuous and relentless external shaping, moulding and perfecting. It capitalised on our insecurity and complexes. It nurtured our need for social acceptance. …The cosmetics industry churns out nearly $600 billion each year and is projected to grow by 40-50% in the next 5 years (34).”
But this is not all. Media, education and belief systems all have highjacked out bodies and physical appearance and sell them to the highest bidder.
MONEY, MONEY, MONEY! LETS TALK ABOUT MONEY
Money is another perquisite to happiness. Or is it? Money is a fascinating subject. We all have beliefs linked to money. Any these are engraved in our minds since an early age. As I wrote in The Price Tag Is On You, some belief systems and even the economic principles governing labour markets are linked to this dogma:
“Suffering to earn our money is seen as a form of purification…. Ironically, one of the biggest modern day belief system is linked to money: Monetism. “Money is king”. It might as well be god.”
This explains why we all want it and crave it and believe that if we have it we will be happier. Paradoxically, the wealthiest countries in the world are also the most depressed and suicidal ones.
BECAUSE I AM HAPPY
So, let’s get this straight.
MONEY does not buy HAPPINESS
BEAUTY is not an entry ticket to HAPPINESS
LOVE does not equal HAPPINESS
Happiness, like love, beauty and wealth are states of mind. They come from within us. Contrary to what all man-made systems say, we cannot buy them from the supermarket or trade them on the stock exchange. How would you react if someone showed you perfectly stacked shelves with Love, Beauty and Wealth? Sounds absurd, doesn’t it?
Well this is exactly what the media, economies, healthcare and technology are doing. Even belief systems have found intricate ways to capitalise on out yearning to be loved, beautiful and wealthy.
So, here is the secret. It sounds like a cliché, but somehow humanity has buried it under the rubble of man-made systems. Love, Beauty, Wealth and Happiness are within me, you and every human being that shares the planet with us. No one can sell them to me, you and us for the simple reason that they are already part of us. So chuck out your obsession to get these from the market. And listen more to want your inner voice, or if you prefer gut feeling, tells you.
To learn more about how man-made systems turn us into products and how you can change them read The Price Tag Is On You.
Happy reading!
M.H.Stones